Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Everett: One Month
I can't believe I have been a mom to this sweet baby for a month. I want to freeze time. I have already had to put away some of his newborn sleepers and it kills me. I want him to stay little. I love when he curls up in a little ball, it is my favorite, he looks so little and comfy, I take a picture of it daily.
He is growing like crazy (I think), we haven't had a chance to weigh him since Canada other than on our own scale holding him, but he is fattening up for sure, making for thee most kissable cheeks you could possibly imagine. I think we both kiss them a hundred times a day.
He is such a good eater, and is eating about every three hours still. When he is hungry, he is HUNGRY! He is like a little maniac when "his food" is in front of him and makes the funniest face when latching, I laugh every single time, even in the middle of the night.
He is liking his baths more and more, lately I like to just fill the tub and get in with him, he seems to like this better than his bather thing on the counter and I love the skin to skin time. He is really relaxed and content after his bath in his warm towel, this many times leads to him going to the bathroom on us!
He likes to be swaddled, but likes his hands by his face. I sleep with my hand on my face too (weird I know) so I kind of love that he does the same thing.
He likes white noise and if we rock him in front of the dryer, the fan in the bathroom or the oven fan, he calms easily and will fall asleep.
Sleeping is not his favorite thing to do. Ben and I are convinced he has "grunting baby syndrome", which according to the internet is a real thing. He seems to be constantly grunting and straining, even while he sleeps and it wakes him up constantly. It breaks my heart because I know he is uncomfortable and hurting but I can't help him. We have tried gripe water, gas relief drops, and me going off dairy (kind of...I keep accidentally eating dairy-It's everywhere!) but nothing seems to give him relief! I don't think it is colic because he doesn't scream and is pretty easily consoled, he just grunts and fusses and seems to have gas.
Has anyone else experienced this with their babies?
He would much rather sleep in his swing/rocker/carseat/on us than in his bassinet. He (we) has had a couple really rough nights where he will only sleep for half hour at a time and then start his grunting and fussing as soon as we put him down. So we are working on the whole sleeping thing. It has been hard and completely exhausting but even when I feel so tired and annoyed he is up again, I pick him up and feel how little and sweet and helpless he is and it makes it all worth it.
He really is a sweet baby though, my favorite time is when he is awake and alert and calm and just looking around at the world. He does this thing where he will lay on my chest but then look up right at me, it is one of our favorite positions, he looks right at me like he knows I'm his mom.
It has been an amazing month but a really hard month too. I feel like my heart did the "grinch" thing and literally grew ten sizes when I met our baby. This, accompanied by crazy hormones have made my highs feel higher and my lows feel lower. There have been many tears at night when he won't sleep and I am exhausted and delusional and feeling guilty that I can't help him feel better and sleep. I have had moments of pure joy though, it is a love that is different from any other love I have felt before and makes my heart want to explode! The day my mom left was probably my hardest day yet and all of a sudden I felt so small and inadequate, slowly but surley though we are figuring it out. Yesterday Ben and I took him to run errands and go out for lunch and I felt so happy, just our little family of three.
Although I want time to stop, I also can't wait for what is to come. For him to smile (intentionally) is what I am really looking forward to in the next few weeks! So here's to the first month with Everett.