Friday, September 20, 2013

'It's Friday, I'm in Love'

I remember a few months back, I had just gotten Everett to sleep {in my arms....I know I know} after {what seemed like} hours of inconsolable crying. I was bouncing him on the exercise ball in one arm and catching up on blog reading on my phone in the other. I was reading a friends post about how she had this moment where it was just like she had pictured being a mom to be like. She was making dinner with a baby on her hip, dancing in the kitchen and she thought "this is it".

I cried. I was so tired and having a poor colicky baby does that to you.  I thought "I wonder if I will ever feel like that, if it will be like I thought it would be"  Don't get me wrong I loved that crying bundle of baby more than life itself, that part was just like I thought it would be. And  I knew it would be hard, but I don't think you can really ever be completely ready and prepared for a baby until you have and care for that little soul day in and day out.

I now realize I have those 'this is it'  moments every day.  Eating our breakfast together, practicing crawling, sitting and talking, walking around Target with E strapped in the Bjorn, listening to Ben and him laugh and play in the bedroom while I make dinner and even playing rock paper scissors with Ben to see who has to change an epic diaper. THIS IS IT! THIS IS WHAT I IMAGINED!

It is still freaking hard. I am still so tired.  I love it though.  A lot of times it is not like I pictured it to be in my 'fairy tale', I am in my pajamas most days until at least noon and some days I am counting the minutes until Ben gets home from work or school, but it still is the greatest job I could ask for.  I love being a mom.

I feel like I have grown so much in these past seven months, and learned so much {usually the hard way} about myself, about Ben and about the way I want to mother.  Sure makes me grateful for time, and what I will continue to learn about this divine role as we keep on keeping on.

Happy Friday!


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