Thursday, February 27, 2014

Everett: 1 year

Weight: 19.13 (10th percentile) Height: 29 inches (25th percentile) Seven teeth

Holy Crap. Well that year went quick. I know it's cliche but I can't believe it.  
Right in front of my eyes, he turned from this old man grandpa baby who couldn't even hold up his head into a little boy who babbles and plays games and remembers things we say and do with him.

We had such a fun party for him over the weekend (more on that to come) but on his actual birthday we just showered him with kisses, sang him every version of happy birthday 100 times, facetime dates with all the grandparents and we both noticed how he looked just a little bit bigger. 
The last picture of him before he was a one year old, I couldn't stop kissing him the night before his birthday and saying "I can't believe you are going to be a 1 year old tomorrow'// We took him to the park and to get fro-yo on his birthday

It seems like in the last month, Everett has gotten so much smarter and so much more observant.  Every time Ben comes home I have a new 'trick' to show him.  He blows kisses and points to everything, he makes the hand motions when we sing itsy-bitsy spider and he can do the sign for please, more and shakes his head no.
These days I wake up excited to spend the day with my buddy and watch him experience everything.

He is walking!!!! (ish) the most he has taken is 14 steps. Sometimes he is so determined and no matter how many times he falls on his diaper butt, he gets back up and tries again.  And other days he is not having it and would rather crawl. It is hard for me to even imagine him walking all over the house.

He is sleeping quite a bit better these days, after his little bout in the hospital (fever, dehydration and possible viral meningitis) his chronic ear infection finally cleared up and it has made such a difference. He is now only waking up 1-2 times at night, and will often have a nice 7-8 hour stretch.  He is napping much better as well and just today had a 2+ hour afternoon nap.  No, we are still not sleeping completely through the night and I still get a little jealous rage when people post that their 2 month old sleeps 13+ hours uninterrupted, but his improvements have made such a difference and I feel so much better these days.

Everett is still breast-feeding and we are slowly working on weaning him. Very. very slowly.  He loves breastfeeding and frankly so do I, so we aren't in too much of a rush but we are working on it.  He mostly eats only table food and not really too much baby food anymore, which is great and so much easier.  He is really into pasta and ice cream (and q-tips whenever he can get his hands on them). He also would prefer to feed himself at this stage and it is so so messy but a baby and a spoon is too adorable to care. (We think he is left handed)

He is getting a little better at not being so attached to me, but I am still having heart palpitations thinking about leaving him with someone else this weekend while Ben and I go to a Brian Reagan show in SLC, I predict much screaming on Everett's behalf-he just is so dependent on breastfeeding to go to sleep and has some separation anxiety.  We will be paying the babysitter well.

 ^^^Recessive genes for the win!

Everett is starting to really express his wants and needs, this is resulting in him being stubborn and he wants what he wants and he wants it now. He can definitely throw a little fit when he doesn't get his way, but luckily for now he is easily distracted, but I know we have to be careful and not give in.  He still despises the car seat, therefore I still hate driving but food bribing him is a temporary fix at the moment.  We were planning on switching him to forward facing in the next few months when he breaks 20 pounds, but recently have been told we should not until he is two?! Say it isn't so?  Apparently the law is 1 and 20 pound but the AAP or something recommends 2?  When did you mamas switch your kids?  

Something else I want to remember about right now.  One little thing we do about 40 times a day is Everett likes to go in his crib, stand up on the edge and point to each one of his stuffed animals that sit on the window ledge and have us give them to him in his crib.  He doesn't play with them once they are in there or even give them a second look, he just likes to point and dump them in there and repeat.  

All in all this year has been the hardest but most amazing year with our Everett boy.  He truly has changed my world and shown me a new, different kind of love that I think only a mother can know. 

Happy Birthday Everett, let's do it again!

 ^^^Can you even believe what happens in 12 months?

Monday, February 24, 2014

Wish I Knew Then, What I Know Now

Everett turns a year old tomorrow.  When I think about it, I have that anxious feeling in my stomach.  Sad that he is no longer my newborn that barley fit across my body, excited for how funny and mobile he is now, and anxious that he is now so smart and learning so much and I feel so much responsibility to teach him good things and to be a good, sweet and kind boy.

I have only been a parent for a year, so this post is not really me giving advice to anyone but more writing down personal lessons I have learned so far. So many times Ben and I have looked at each other after we have made another parenting 'mistake' or knowingly got into bad habits just to get some sleep and said 'well.....the next baby'

I remember that first few months, I really felt like I had no idea what I was doing.  Sometimes it felt like I was just babysitting and I was waiting for the real mom to come pick the baby up, how could I be old enough and ready enough for this?  I was a nervous, anxious ball of hormones.

I remember one night, prefaced by a day of all day colic crying where Everett literally had only slept an hour, he would only sleep in my arms while walking around the house.  I was literally delusional and was honestly thinking Everett wouldn't sleep because he was mad I would not let him watch the rest of an Arrested Development episode-'He is crying because he can't figure out the ending' I thought-totally consious and walking.  Ben was working night shift the following night so I didn't want to wake him up.  I had finally gotten Everett to sleep around 6am, put him in his swing, and laid down on the couch next to him. Six minutes later, he woke up screaming.  I started balling, I needed help, I needed my mom, I needed sleep.  I swallowed my pride, felt like a horrible mother who couldn't do her job and went to Ben balling telling him I needed just 1 hour of sleep and then I would be good.  Ben looked terrified of me and took the baby no problem, and told me not to worry and to sleep.  I crawled into bed and cried and thought I was doomed. I eventually slept, woke up feeling a million times better and knew I was being crazy and things were going to be fine.  That's how I feel about all the lessons I have learned this year-It takes a little bit of sleep and the passing of time to look back and see things in a better perspective and that everything is going to be fine.

Somehow we made it through our first beautiful year and I feel much less messy and frazzled.  I still am new to this and make mistakes all the time-Everett is still not sleeping through the night, I bribe him with Oreo's in the car so he won't scream the entire ride and I have been changing his diaper while he stands up for the last couple months because it is easier than holding him down and forcing it while he acts like I am stabbing him, a really bad and messy habit. All in all though, I feel like I am getting the hang of things these days, both in being a mom day in and day out to E, but also in a good place emotionally where I feel happy with my role and place right now as a mother, wife, friend and individual.

So looking back, here are a few things I know now that I wish I would have known {almost} a year ago.

STOP WORRYING SO MUCH.  This is by far my biggest lesson.  I was so anxious and worried about everything. I would lose sleep at night (sleep I desperately needed). I worried about milestones down to the day (so silly to think about now) I worried about his sleep-'he's not sleeping enough/ he's sleeping so long! Is something wrong? Should I wake him up?' I worried about his eating, his skin, his hair, his crying, his car seat, EVERYTHING.   Ben said to me 'you need to stop spending your time worrying, or else you are going to miss out on stuff' and it hit me hard.  I am a natural worrier but I feel like I have gotten much better.  I  try to remain more calm in scary situations, and be more logical for Everett's sake as he is getting better at reading me.

Figure things out on your own.  There is SO much information out there about parenting, and a majority of it directly contradicts other 'advice' or 'expert opinion'.
-Sleep training will result in trust and abandonment issues//Sleep training is necessary and
will have no impact on future personality.
-Pacifiers help soothe and are good for neurological development//Pacifiers are a crutch and
should not be used.
-Babies need schedules to function//Don't be in a rigid schedule
-Babies should learn independent play, don't let them become overly attached to you//Be 'present' at all times with your child.
-Co-sleeping is good for bonding with your baby//Co-sleeping is dangerous and could kill your baby.
See what I mean-so much contradictory information! So I really needed to stop googling, and figure out what was best for Everett, Ben and I.  Do our own thing.

Find Balance. It seems like no matter what stage of life I am in, I am always looking for balance.  Balance between first boyfriend and my best friends time in high school, balance between school and social life, balance between work and our marriage etc.  Well when we had Everett, I really struggled to find balance.  I went months without seeing our friends because it would 'throw off Everett's schedule if we weren't home by 6'.  I struggled to find balance with time for myself.  I was so constantly wrapped up in Everetts needs, that I forgot about my own needs, which in turn made me a crappier mother because I was tired physically and mentally, lonely and needed a break.  It has also taken Ben and I a while to find balance between being parents and being a couple, something we continue to work on. We started taking time at night to just talk, eat something together, watch a movie etc. Before it would be a whirlwind of trying to make/eat dinner while giving Everett his own dinner, bathtime, bedtime, peace out I'm going to lay on the couch and do mindless nothings for an hour to relax and then go to bed. Also, we now usually eat dinner after Everett goes to bed, which works way better for us.  I have also noticed that when we do make changes to a schedule or make an effort to do something with friends, we are all happier and refreshed by more out-of-home human contact!

Take a break.  I am still learning and working on this one.  I have hardly ever been away from Everett.  He was so colicky when he was little and I worried if I left him, no one but me would know how to calm him down just right.  He has never really taken a bottle, so if he was hungry I needed to be there.  Now he is older and really attached to me and I worry what if he is looking around for me and I'm not there?  We have never left him with a babysitter since he was 2.5 months unless he is already asleep at night.  Yesterday I had a dentist appointment so Everett stayed home with Ben.  I called Ben the second I was out of the dentist to check how he was doing, he was totally fine.  So I ran another errand and went to the print shop.  On the way home I stopped by Swig and got a big dirty diet coke and a cookie and then I went home.  Not only was Everett totally fine, (Ben and him were doing chores and playing) but I was refreshed, felt so great, so excited to see and play with Everett and was so much happier after my little outing.  Ben told me I needed to do that more often.  I know. I do.

There are a lot of other lessons learned this year, and even on a daily basis, but these are the main ones I want to remember, you know, for next time.

And oh ya-one more-Always park right next to the 'cart return'

Sunday, February 23, 2014


A Photo Series 'A picture of my child once a week, every week for a year'

He went to bed dreaming of balloons and chocolate cupcakes

Sunday, February 16, 2014


A picture of Everett, once a week, every week for a year

Everett and I went to a little gym class.  He liked this baby balance beam the best.  Somersaults? Not so much.


Tuesday, February 11, 2014


 So I got my wisdom teeth out two and a half weeks ago.  After the first week, I was having pain in a weird place and something was poking my tongue, so I thought something might be off and went back in.  Turns out that according to the dentist, when they took out my impacted tooth, the jaw bone got stretched out and was poking out into my mouth. He said to give it time and then maybe they could try and shave it down or something if it didn't get better.  I saw another dentist for a second opinion and he numbed me up and tried pushing the bone back into place (he also pulled out a bone spur which is why it was so pointy) but that didn't work so he recommended seeing an oral surgeon vs. the original dentist because the spot is too close for comfort to my facial nerves.  Anyways.....It hurts like crap, I can't eat anything solid without being in so much pain and I don't want to pay anymore money for oral surgery.  I'm pretty frustrated.  Sorry-very long dental saga.

Well since a ton of my shows decided to go on like 4 month breaks in the middle of the season...not okay (I'm looking at you ABC) I have been looking forward to Bachelor Mondays more than anyone should ever look forward to a Monday.  Also Vampire Diaries-Hey all you Damon and Elena fans-how do you like him now?  You can't even justify that last episode. I'll say it again....Team Stefan 4 eva! 

The Olympics.  My Canadian pride is just bursting.  I have commissioned my mom to go to The Bay and get me some of their gear (the toques and mitts are the best) so I can just sit and watch curling it in or something.  The other night I stayed up past midnight cheering on the Canadian slope style snowboarder like he was my own brother (All of the sudden I was SO invested in slope style and looking up things like triple corks) and then feeling legitimately depressed when he was so robbed in the finals.  Seriously, we all know it.  #McMorrisforgold!  

A date. Ben and I haven't been out by ourselves for a long time.  Everett may or may not be a stage 5 clinger and so it is basically impossible to leave him with anyone while he is awake. This Valentines weekend, Ben has to work, so kind of a bummer but all I really want is some Dove chocolates and a future date plan for my favorite kind of night out-dinner and a movie (after Everett's asleep of course-we are whipped.)

Everett's first birthday!! I can't even believe he will be one in two weeks.  We are planning a little ice cream get together (Everett LOVES ice cream but I think he may be allergic..hmm...) I want to go freaking all out pinterest motherboy on this shin-dig, but the husband and the budget won't allow.  It will be simple and fun but you know I want to see Everett destroy a cake with his face!  I have also been really nostalgic for the last year as it gets closer.  I am putting together a 'one year book' for him and making a little video of all our home videos.  Ben says I am setting a very high standard for our future children.  I will show you the book and video when I am done!

Weaning.  I know I am ready to start the process of weaning Everett from breastfeeding.  I am looking forward to the little bit of increased freedom I will have. (I have never been away from him longer than 3 hours since he was born, and that has only been twice)  I just don't know if Everett is ready?  My main concern is he will never sleep again, because that is basically the only way he will go down and he has never been very good at a bottle.  Should I go straight to whole milk?  A bottle or a sippy cup?  Do I give him a bottle in the middle of the night when he wakes up now?  How much milk will he need?  I need to read up on it, do any of you have weaning tips that helped?

Sunday, February 9, 2014

4/52 5/52 6/52

Here is the last three weeks of my Photo Series-A picture of Everett once a week, every week for a year.  If you want to see past weeks, click on the label at the bottom of the post that says '52 project' 
From now on, instead of bundling weeks at a time (it is getting too confusing) I am going to try and post the picture every Sunday one week at a time. 


Big and little


I call this one 'Hey Ben, go put Everett's face down by that reindeer face'


This one wasn't taken with my real camera, but it was a rough week for us as you can see when Everett had to spend a couple days in the hospital.  The good news is he is feeling so much better.  

Monday, February 3, 2014

can we talk bachelor for a second...

I know, I know, but can we talk BACH-EH-LORE for a second...

I bribe Ben to watch it with me every week but in all honesty he is not the best bachelor watching companion, mostly he comments on how annoying it is that Juan Pablo has to comfort all these crying girls 24/7.  Live texting with my friend Jenn about what a skank claire is was much more therapeutic, so I guess I am live blogging my bachelor thoughts...I need to talk to some girls about this!

I like...
ANDI (my fav) Nikki (surprisingly still like her, despite their editing to make me not like her and her crap in the pants comments) Chelsea (she grew on me on the bungee date) Ali (sad she went home tonight-thought she was really gorg)

I do not like...
Charlene (Awkward Robot, making Canada look weird) Kat (try-hard) Claire (I mean.......)

On the fence about....
Renee (I actually really like her, I just don't know if JP is feeling is as much as her) Cassandra (She is so so young, and maybe kind of air-head-ish?)

Ok so some of my friends don't really like JP, and get the cocky vibe from him...I love him!!! I think he is so funny, down to earth, sweet, a good dad and his english is really endearing.  There are some cultural mis-communications sometimes I think, but I really like him 'I like dat' 'I like dat' 'eye-eye-eye'

So Vietnam was so pretty!
He and Renee were really sweet on their date, poor girl did not get her candle wish though
I am a fellow sweaty person and I appreciate the fan gesture
Claire annoys the crap out of me
I think she has botox
I was a little peeved at JP for kissing her in the boat in front of all the other girls
why does he think she is so sexy?
Cold pool "de-thawing the ice queen" woof.
The opera singer and JP's kisses look so bad, makes me want to crawl in a hole. So uncomfortable.
They have never shown him with Danielle, dog-lover or Ali.
Should have given Andi the group date rose!
Claire--it is cheating to go and knock on his door, and I hate cheaters
Ummmm k did they do what I think they did in the ocean? She is like sneakily innuendo-ing or something
Giraffe comment.......yikes
Nikki, I know she is kind of snarky but I still like her!
who likes short shorts? ALL OF THEM! Nikki has great legs though
I straight up could not have done the cave thing, like it would have been really awkward but I could not do it.
So awk when he said he did not get a lot of sleep last night.....
The whole drama with Claire at the cocktail party.... I liked it and I am glad he said it was probably a mistake
Ben would be so annoyed at all this crying
It was pretty easy to tell who was going home tonight....

Scenes for next week-Can't even wait.  The bachelor is so freaking entertaining to me haha

What did you think? Who do you guys like? Will JP find love?

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