Wednesday, September 3, 2014

My Nursing Experience

{two months}

Well I nursed Everett for the last time approximately 48 hours ago. In fact, I am sitting here writing this post with cabbage in my bra (it's a thing) and in extreme pain due to my tatas not getting the memo yet that we are DONE!

I was ready to be done, but at the same time, I am feeling a little teary about the whole thing. Mourning it a little. 

Everett was a colicky baby, he screams his brains out every time in his car seat and he has never slept through the night but since day one he has been a great eater!  They put that brand new baby on my chest and he went for it, he knew what he needed and we both just got it.

Everett was the happiest when he was in my arms and nursing, free hand hooked on my shirt collar or chest. And I was happy to be there. Looking back, those times together are so special to me. I guess it is hard to explain, but in the beginning when he cried in pain most all of the day and I felt so helpless to make him feel better, I could, with nursing, for a few minutes calm him and comfort him and I wasn't so helpless for a moment. We really needed each other. 

I loved to watch him fall asleep, the little grunts slowly stopped, his body go limp and relax completely. Just him and I. 3am singing lullabies and rubbing his fuzzy skin, then probably again in a couple hours but that's ok, that's what I'm here for. 

When Everett was a year old, he had to have a minor day surgery. I was so nervous about the whole thing. The nurse brought him to us when he was all done, he was still so groggy and out of it, he reached for me and immediately assumed the position, latched on and fell asleep instantly.  He nursed on and off groggily for about the next four hours and I felt sore but so happy and comforted myself that I could provide him with that comfort and peace.

It hasn't all been easy.  In the beginning I thought 'how do moms do this without looking?' and was so stressed about him getting enough milk. There were times I would wake up at 4am and have to go sanitize bottles and  haul the pump into the bed to get some relief if he was (heaven forbid) still sleeping.  I had a bought of mastitis and sometimes during teething times felt trapped in the rocking chair all night long because that is the only relief he could get. Overall though, nursing has been one of favorite things about being a mother.

I have become quite the breastfeeding-hippie-advocate-supporter, I can tell you all the amazing benefits it does for your baby, I know the percentages of mama's who are still breastfeeding at a year (27%) and I know how to keep your milk supply up, the formula for how much your baby needs at how much he weighs and have really tried to educate myself on the subject.  

I know some mom's bodies just won't let them and some have such a hard and painful time in the beginning and some just don't want to and I don't judge you at all, don't think any less of you, we are all just doing what we can for our babies.

I am happy and lucky I had the experience I did for 18 months, I will miss it, I am hopeful to do it again with my next babies.

Over and out. and completely engorged.

{18 months}


Amie said...

I love this post. I just weaned Noah at 16 months and it was an amazing experience. I wasn't able to nurse Ty... or I should say he never wanted to (attempted for 6 weeks), so it was such a blessing to be able to nurse one of my boys. What a closeness it brings.

Emma Ashby said...

I love this. Breastfeeding is so amazing and such a blessing to be able to do! And it is amazing what a comfort it can be to our babies! I was soooo sad when Holland weaned around 13 months right after I got pregnant with Irelyn. I'm hoping to breastfeed for a bit longer with Irelyn because I just love it so much. I am not nearly as educated as you are on the subject though!! Any good articles I should read?

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