Tuesday, September 5, 2017


I keep doing this, writing a post, not quite finishing it and then never posting it. I wrote this post two weeks ago, most of it still applies so I am posting anyway:

I haven't been sleeping well the last week or so. I can't turn off my brain off at night and I am thinking and stressing and latching onto random things. Some important things like bills to pay, life decisions, some unimportant like, do I like Archie with Betty or Veronica on Riverdale? I thought it might help if I just write all my running thoughts down and get it out. So here is a "Currently-ish" post:

Currently looking forward to: The end of Summer. I am excited and anxious to go back to Provo, have my own house and things, get into a routine, maybe sleep in once or twice and HAVE A HUSBAND AGAIN!! This summer has been amazing. I love that my boys have grown so close to my parents, they have been living the dream swimming with all their cousins and friends every day and I have the BEST group of girl friends here (Bachelor nights have saved my soul this summer)!! This summer has also been one of the hardest of my life. I just understand why families are supposed to be together.  We have seen Ben for 10 days in FOUR MONTHS and 6 of those days were for just a couple hours. I think all single moms everywhere should get free money and free spa days like every other week, because I just have no greater respect for single moms and military moms. It is so. hard. I just miss having my partner. I couldn't give the boys the one on one time they needed daily because there was just one of me. My patience was sooo much less than it usually is when Ben is around on the daily and I became overwhelmed so much easier.  I am ashamed that I lost my cool on the kids more times this summer than I have in all my parenting career and I just felt like I wasn't being the mom I wanted to be because I was spread too thin. I also miss being a team with Ben, the "tap out" option when I just need him to take over bath and bed time, but also just being together, where a trip to Costco is a fun family date, instead of a chore. The looks you give each other when one of the kids do something impossibly cute or funny. Ya, I am ready to go home, go on some much needed dates, book myself a weekend away and be together again.

Currently Reading: I read the series "To all the boys I've loved before" by Jenny Han. It was an easy, high-school romance read, which means I loved it soooo much. They are currently making a movie of it, and I was careful to not look up who they had cast as characters before I read it, because that totally ruined Hunger Games for me forever ago. How could you ever be Team Peeta if you knew Liam Hemsworth was Gail?! Anyways, now that I have finished the book, and completely in love with the main character Peter K, I am a little disappointed with the casting. I pictured Nick Robinson (Ben Parrish from the 5th Wave, Everything Everything) or Ansel Elgort (Gus from Fault in Our starts) He is just supposed to be the dreamiest of all the dreamy boys and the guy they chose isn't doing it for me. But hopefully he can live up to the Peter K role!

I am also currently reading The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty. I know I'm so late to the party on this one, but I am really enjoying it so far, although really scared how it is all going to work out happily by the end, because if you know me, I only like a happy ending.

Currently Loving: Watching my kids learn SO much. Everett learned to FULL ON swim this summer. He is only 4 and he swims on his own, no floaties, tricks off the diving board, touches the bottom of the 8-foot-pool swims! I am just so proud of him and he loves it SO much, it has been so fun to watch him.

Another milestone for Everett is learning to push up his own freezie/otterpop this summer. Just. so. proud. Moms, please tell me you know what I am talking about.

Patrick is saying a million words and new ones every day. It is so strange to hear "Froot Loops please" come out of his tiny human mouth. All the social interaction has been so good for him here where he is surrounded by lots of people and he is a little less clingy to me and ok if I leave the room (sometimes). I am still pretty sure I will be in nursery with him for the next two years regardless though. Patrick also learned to sleep this summer, which was such a huge blessing, without it, I don't think we would have made it through.

Currently Wanting: This happens every year at the end of summer, as I think about returning to our place, I start thinking about all the changes I want to make there and all the things I want to get rid of and replace and redecorate. I want to go back to school shopping for myself, despite not going back to school yadda yadda yadda. I ordered this rug after pining for it for ev ev ev. I got it on super sale and am so excited to see how it brightens up our living room.  Next on my list is lots of plants for the house, a headboard for our bed and my dad and I (mostly my dad) are working on refinishing an old dining room table!

I LOVE these Madewell mules, which are so IN this season, but $$$, these Gap Factory ones are close enough I think! I also love these sold out ones from The Stock Place.  I really want this sups cute free people shirt, and trying every way I can in my head to justify it, but haven't bit the bullet yet, and it is like the cheapest thing on their site haha. I also want all the culottes and wide leg pants. I know guys hate them, but I feel like a trendy gypsy and I don't even care. These ones are so cute! Also because of Kayti from the beyouty bureau (such a fun account to follow guys) I want this blue mascara so bad, but so must every other girl in the US, because it is so hard to find!

Currently in the Health and Fitness Category: So I mentioned before I was trying to get my butt into shape this summer. It was time, after a 2-year break from working out! I had my 10 year High School Reunion this summer, so that was a good excuse to get moving. I did one Whole 30 in June and then 90% Paleo for July and August along with regular work outs. I lost all my baby weight, feel much better and I know it is cliche but I really do have more energy.  It feels good to treat my body right and take advantage of what it is capable of. At the beginning of the summer, I would go for runs, with my kids in the stroller, one morning my mom offered to watch them while I went, it was the best run of my life. FFFRRRREEEEDDDDDOOOMMMM!! Music blasting, endorphins flowing, I literally had tears running down my cheeks listening to "This is my fight song, take back my life song" It just felt so good to take my life back and do something about it, followed closely by the Britney song "Work B****, just so empowering hahaha jk jk. I avoided running with the kids at all costs for the rest of the summer ha!

I can't believe summer is just about over. One for the books, I already miss it yet crave it being over. Weird. K bye. Never know how to end blog posts......Work B**** JK again! k bye.


Ie Ling said...

I just love reading your posts. Every time I read them I think, "I should write on my blog again." And then think, "No...I'll write one post and then it'll be another year until the next one." Anyway, so glad you're back in Utah. You definitely deserve some couple time with Ben, but let me know when you're ready for a girls and kids day out!

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